I’m not a person who can just sit on a beach. Instead of relaxing, I can’t stop thinking about how we’re all basking in the radiation of an uncontrolled fusion reaction from a star in space. A fucking star! And our bodies need the rays from this star in order to produce a certain vitamin that without it we would feel sad. It sounds like sci-fi.

I wish I could just enjoy the beach like these college guys a short distance from me who have just been digging a hole in the sand for the past 2 hours. The hole is waist deep now and they’re just…digging. Why? They’re with girls too! Maybe they gotta do something to keep from beating off. Idle hands and all… They’re definitely not thinking about the star in the sky. They’re just digging a hole 10 feet from girls in bikinis and probably having the time of their lives. I envy their seemingly vacant minds.

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