If you ever wanted to get rid of a murder weapon, I bet you could leave it in your carry-on bag when you go to airport. When TSA finds it and asks if you want to check your bag with it or they’ll dispose of it, say “Yeah. Go ahead and dispose of it.” They throw it in the trash and you hop on a flight out of the country. As long as there’s no bomb residue (or hair or blood) on it, those TSA folks ain’t asking any questions. If they don’t find it…and odds are they won’t…you keep it and toss it someplace that’s 1000 miles away from where you committed the crime. 

Imagine a real killer showing up at the airport with a bag of knives, duct tape and latex gloves. TSA would be like “You can check the bag if you want to keep the knives.” And a psychopath like John Gacy is standing there in a clown suit saying “Nah. You can go ahead and dispose of them, sport. I’m outta here.” Then the gate agent gives him shit because there’s no more room in the overhead for his bag of duct tape and latex gloves so he has to wedge it under the seat in front him with his big clown shoes. The guy sitting next to him won’t shut the fuck up asking about the clown suit and what he does for a living. The person behind him is carrying on a conversation or listening to music through their phone’s speaker instead of using headphones like a person with a modicum of consideration for others around them.  And ya know what? Ole Johnny there starts missing those knives the TSA has now thrown in an incinerator someplace. Boy oh boy does he start missing them. When he lands, he’s so annoyed that he goes straight to a Williams Sonoma for some new German-made cutlery and it starts the whole murderous cycle all over again. He’s racking up so many Delta frequent flyer miles from disposing of murder weapons he hits platinum status and gets bumped up to first class for free. He thinks “Finally! The killing can stop!” But then, the woman sitting next to him in first class has a little dog and it’s sitting on one of the airplane pillows on her lap. The same pillow some poor bastard is gonna be drooling into on a later flight! Johnny starts missing his knives so bad, his little clown bowtie is spinning like an airplane propeller!

What I’m trying to say is that safety is an illusion. 

#thingsIthinkaboutinairports 

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