I was researching monsters and demons from myth and legends for a story. I discovered that there’s a demon named Uphir who is “head physician in the palace of hell.” Head physician??? Monsters have job titles and adhere to corporate structure?? Do they have have an HR department and PTO?? This poor bastard is probably carrying a ton of student loan debt from medical school and has those attractive Phizer pharmaceutical sales reps teasing his cock all hours of the day just so they can make their commissions. Hell’s medical insurance lobby is constantly crawling up his ass. And everyone in that palace just wants him to get them another bogus prescription of Adderall or Vicodin. And NO ONE is afraid of him because he’s walking around wearing Crocs. What a shitty monster! Poor bastard.